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Women facing a choice of life

Des femmes face à un choix de vie

The women of Raiatea: they are our colleagues, our neighbors, our friends, our taties, … women that we often meet or with whom we discuss from time to time. But behind these women, these mothers, these lovers, these friends … there are often beautiful stories, joys and more difficult moments in life, choices that make them where they are today. Nothing fancy, but choices that change lives …

This 1st “portrait of women” sets out to meet a family from Raiatea to share some “slices of life” from which we can no doubt also draw personal lessons …

Mémé Tapairu 

(orbeck wife tapi)
Both proud paumotu and of Hindu origin through her ancestor, a navigator who came from Denmark to the Tuamotus Islands, the young girl is educated (through her Catholic religious education) and has a perfect command of French. If we add that she is a very beautiful woman, we understand why she will attract the attention of a schooner captain. Certainly, navigation plays a role in many stories of this time!
This navigator marries her and gives her 2 daughters: Yvette (who will be adopted by her grandmother at the age of 7) and Bernadette (raised by her Orbeck family). This marriage is unfortunately a failure …

But Tapairu does not draw a line on love … and his heart beats again, this time for a young and handsome diver of mother-of-pearl, a Chinese paumotu mestizo: Tehina! It was only a few years later, after the death of her first husband, that she finally married the man of her life!

Maman Emerita

Fruit of this love, Emerita was born in Makemo, in the somewhat difficult conditions of the time on remote islands: no midwife, but an elderly woman who tried to guide future mothers; no material for care so we welcome him into his new life with lemon juice to disinfect his eyes … we can imagine his reaction, but also that of his father who is very angry with this method!
 

Emerita follows a short schooling: not having the means, her parents take her out of school at the age of 13 when they move to Kauehi. And then it is also for her father a way to keep an eye on her, or rather on the possible “thugs” who could want to take advantage of the pretty young girl!

Like her mother before her, it is a “passing man” who will notice her. She is 16, he is 21. He comes from Raiatea and sails in the islands on a mission for the agricultural service. Under the spell, he asks his parents for permission to court him …

At 17, the young paumotu will have to leave her landmarks and her family to follow her husband who returns to Raiatea! Unfortunately, her in-laws will not give her the warm welcome that could have comforted her … Despite everything, she will live with her new family, learn how to keep a house, … and give birth to her 1st. child: Rony. 3 years later, it is Vaiana who will enlarge the family.

One of his great pleasures is when his paumotus parents take the long schooner trip from time to time to come and help him. At the birth of her 3rd child, Hina, grandma Tapairu will also decide to adopt the little one from her 1st month and will go back with her to Kauehi …

Emerita will know her happiness better when she moves to Tahaa with her small family, following a transfer of her husband. Wonderful years, sometimes also eventful … which bring Granny Tapairu to return more often and for a long time, the trunks loaded with Sao boxes filled with stinking dried fish, serving as treats for the children who savor it with Uto, but also coconut crabs packaged in aluminum boxes …

ROMANELLA

Another generation, another woman entering life: while her husband is away during her pregnancy, Emerita, alone in the hospital, hears a song on the radio that touches her. His new daughter, his 4th child, will be called Romanella!

Her father was hoping for a boy … is that what will influence the girl’s behavior? In any case, whether during her very young childhood on Raiatea or later on Tahaa, Romanella loves the freedom and the activities of the boys of the village that she accompanies everywhere: bush, river, fields … nothing scares her, she is as tough as they are, nothing stops her except hunger which brings her home at the end of the day, sometimes too late for the meal already cleared. But a simple bowl of coffee where you break Sao biscuits, with cheese or Chinese soup (the blue packet) is enough for him. Even today, this “dish” sometimes manages to tip her over in her childhood …

She grows up in the skin of a boy, until discovering her difference … a shock for her but which will not destabilize her for long. Romanella wants to do what she loves, regardless of what others think about it, so after working in education and entrepreneurship, she decides to make a living from her passion as an organic farmer.

A demanding job, sometimes very difficult (you have to see her handling an ax or baramine!), But which allows her to recreate her childhood world, from the bush to herding … and also to share with others. ‘other what she likes! Living off the land, taking care of it, respecting it, savoring every moment and every harvest … She has also rebuilt a small pig farm like the ones she once had in Tahaa! And of course she has the joy of sharing this universe with her own children who have also brought new elements different from what she experienced in her childhood in Tahaa: horses!

She says she is “in love with her life, despite the ups and downs that bring her feet to the ground”. It is undoubtedly this love of life (and of her land) that she will pass on to the next generation, already very present at her side!

So see you in 20 years for the rest of the portraits of women from this big-hearted family!

We cannot summarize 3 or 4 generations in a blog article but thank you to this family for sharing some memories with us … besides, it perhaps reminded you of your own memories? And then we think about our own life choices …

What would have happened if Tapairu had given up before finding love again, and if later she had not been so present for her daughter whom she supported by making so many crossings? Or if Emerita had refused to leave her family to live on an island where she was not always accepted? Or if Romanella hadn’t followed her deepest dreams?

These are choices that we can all have to make, but I am always impressed to see how lives can turn upside down depending on our decisions … We could almost have made a suspense book! It just goes to show that everyone in their family has great stories to share that can make us think about our own choices … What would you have done in their place? And don’t forget: “everyone is a story” … so what’s yours?